Embracing the Chaos

Sashita Bonita is 3 months old. She smiles and coos all the time, is facing forward in the bjorn, observes astutely and sometimes enjoys laying on her playmat. For a couple of minutes. If we’re lucky. She likes to be held all the time. This generally works out because we enjoy holding her. The company line is that she gonna be our last, so I am definitely relishing every moment I have with this girl.

That said, constantly holding a three month old while playing with a 15 month old, everyday, alone, for hours and hours is pretty freakin’ tiring. I often laugh out loud to myself at the ridiculous situations in which I regularly find myself.

To get Bodhi down for his nap, for instance, I have to set SBC down. Before I can even get half way down the hallway, she starts screaming at me. I take Bodeejhee to his room, close the door, turn on the white noise, change his diap, give him a kiss, lay him down and promptly exit. As I open the door, the soothing sound of running water pouring out of B-man’s iPod gives way to maniacal screaming and heart wrenching cries. I grab Bonita, stick a bottle in her mouth, wipe her tears and she is instantly calmed. I immediately hear Bodhi yelling at me from his room. He’s not down yet and he wants me back. Sasha starts screaming before I can even set her down. I grab Bodhi’s milk and run back to his room and find him jumping up and down in his crib. I offer him milk, he pushes it away, so I hold him and rock him and sing “Catch the Wind” by Donovan. He’s rubbing his eyes. I lay him down, he grabs his blanket, wraps it around him and rolls over. I can hear Sasha screaming over the white noise. Run back. Repeat.

Sometimes I have to repeat this dance a few times before Bodhi’s down and it’s so crazy it’s comical. But when the storm calms and Sasha’ sitting in my lap smiling at me, or crashed out on my chest, sucking my pinkie, I am soaring with love and delight, so thankful and blessed to have the opportunity to love these beautiful babies.

Bodhi is running. He can sign eat, more, all done, I love you, water, milk, tree, car, bath, shirt, socks, shoes, jump, ball, flower, butterfly, bird, outside, hi, bye, namaste and that’s all I can remember now, but I’m sure there’s more. He eats with a fork. He does impressions of cows, sheep, dogs, snakes, birds and mice. He can say Sasha, shoe (sometimes pronounced ’shit’), uh-oh, mama, dada and is getting better at parroting many other things we say. Oh, he also says up.

I am growing heirloom tomatoes, artichokes, strawberries and cucumbers. I sprouted a couple pumpkin seeds a few weeks back and they are now plants in the garden. I am hoping to grow a few jack-o-lanterns in time for Halloween.

I am in court 3-4 times a week and am working on an appeal to the Third District.

I am tired and often sore. I long for vacation. I adore my children and love my wife. I am the luckiest man alive.